I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
