you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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