All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
