ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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