I wannas sexs uuuuu
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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