their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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