She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
