im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
