Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
