Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize