i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
