I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
