Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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