Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
