Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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