We got so high we made milksteak
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize