How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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