Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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