I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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