I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I wish i was in the wii world.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
