Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize