his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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