i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
