well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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