I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
