I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
