woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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