is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
