it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
