White coat. Heels.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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