I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
