Yo dont text me then not text me
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize