No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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