i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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