i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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