I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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