I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
