I just made out with a guy for $7.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
