He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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