Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
