Michael Bay diarrhea
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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