Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
