apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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