HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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