there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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