just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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