ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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