Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
