I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize