Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
