i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize