i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like a drive thru vagina
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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