I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
