Sry I called you an 8
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
