what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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