Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
