Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
