Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize