you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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