If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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