A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize