I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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